


Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit - Day 1,108

by crazyoldhermit



Series: Obi-Wan Kenobi: Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit [30]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 20:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6922876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyoldhermit/pseuds/crazyoldhermit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>DAY 1,108.  Love, Tatooine style. Old flames are rekindled, new friends are made, and old acquaintances are knocked out! Obi has been happy for the past two years. Should he have a bad feeling about this?</p>
<p>http://www.ramblingsofacrazyoldhermit.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit - Day 1,108

TATOOINE - Day 1,108:

I can honestly say for the first time since I exiled myself to this sand trap of a planet, that I am happy. Who would have thunk it? I've been so happy and content that I haven't written in this journal for two years now. After all the insanity with Vinto Tox and Mace Windu, I actually found some peace in my life. 

Immediately after Mace plummeted to his death (for a second time), Beru and I started seeing each other again, and it's been AMAZING! Whatever brainiac Jedi outlawed physical relations was an asexual idiot who thrived on misery, probably a Sith infiltrator. 

Beru and Luke spend every weekend with me. So I get to play the role of part-time husband to Beru, and part-time father to Luke. The rest of the week I'm a bachelor. I guess I've got the best of both worlds, nothing really to complain about there. 

Luke is an amazing and spunky four-year-old, and he is strong with the Force. He can hold entire conversations about the galaxy and space travel, but yet he cannot shit in the toilet. He just refuses, it's bizarre. Besides that, he's great! Well he does whine a bit too often. I'm wondering if it's genetic because Anakin whined for the entire time I knew him. 

Beru and I don't discuss the Jedi, or the Force, in front of Luke in fear that he might repeat it. However, Luke's favorite Force trick is to dump a container of blue milk from across the room when no one is looking. I secretly encourage him to do so because only Beru enjoys that bantha piss. 

Owen Lars must know what Beru and I are up to. Frankly, I don't care if he knows because he is a dick. In the beginning Beru would come up with various excuses as to why she and Luke were going away every weekend, like visiting a relative, mommy and me classes in Mos Eisley, or Sarlacc bungie jumping. Over the last few months I think she gave up giving excuses altogether. 

So my weekends have been filled with my surrogate family, and my weekdays are spent watching over the Lars place, defending my hut against the occasional Tusken warrior attack (apparently they still blame me for the lightsaber massacres that were perpetrated by Vinto Tox) and communing with my former Master Qui-Gon Jinn. And I'm happy to report that Qui-Gon and I have buried the hatchet. I have forgiven him for making me promise to train Anakin while he was dying in my arms, which was a total jerk move. However, if it wasn't for Anakin there would be no Luke. It's not Qui-Gon's fault that Anakin turned out the way he did. It wasn't my fault (or even Luke's) that Anakin was, and is, an asshole, plain and simple. 

Being that it was a weekday and all my chores were done, I decided to take my new speeder which I acquired during a game of chance, and venture into Mos Eisley to unwind and have a few drinks. 

The Cantina was just as I had remembered it. The ass-faced band was still playing that same damn song, and the rest of the bar was filled with a wretched hive of ugly and uglier. I was glad to be drinking on an empty stomach. 

I sat alone in a booth, and enjoyed drinking something other than blue milk. I noticed that there were two weirdos staring at me. One looked like some kind of space walrus, and the other looked as if someone had tried to kick the nose off of his face and it had gotten stuck in that unflattering position. For the life of me, I couldn't tell if they were watching me because they wanted to fight, or if they wanted a threesome. Whatever the reason, I moved booths to protect my ass, literally and figuratively. 

There was a lull in the music and that's when I heard the roar. It was a sound I never thought I would hear again, because it was unmistakably from that of a Wookiee. 

I stood immediately, trying to locate the creature who was one of the last remaining free Wookiees in the galaxy. Of course when I did find where he was sitting, my old acquaintance Boba Fett was standing over him, obviously harassing him. 

As I made my way over to them, I took note that Boba had finally grown into a man. He no longer looked like a child wearing his father's ill-fitted suit. He had also gotten a new leg, to replace the old one which had been eaten by the rancor we captured for Jabba, on one of our forced adventures together. 

"WWWAAAHHHHRRRGGGGG!!!" the Wookiee yelled. 

"Shut up, and come with me," Boba said, raising his blaster. 

I casually placed my hand on Boba's weapon and said, "Hello, friend."

"Oh poodoo," Boba swore at me. "What the hell do you want, old man?"

"Well, I'm pleased to see you as well," I smirked. "And, to see that you have a new leg."

"Yeah, no thanks to you!"

I felt the look of surprise cross my face. "Ah...Boba, I do believe it was I who rescued the rest of your body from being devoured by that beast."

"Believe what you want, old man. I'm busy." Boba pulled his blaster away and shoved it into the unarmed Wookiee's face.

I moved closer to Boba so that he wouldn't miss a word I said through his helmet. "It's a good thing I came along, clone. I do happen to speak Shyriiwook."

"It does not matter, he's coming with me. The Empire will provide a handsome reward for any Wookiee returned to them." 

I gently pushed passed Bob and spoke to the Wookiee in his native tongue. "What's the problem, friend?"

The Wookiee sat up, obviously excited to have someone addressing him in his own language. "Wow, dude. You're the first human I've come across that can speak Shyriiwook. Man, that's awesome."

"Is my acquaintance here bothering you?" I motioned to Boba. 

"Yeah, man. He's like totally bumming me out, man. He wants to send me back to “The Man”, you know the oppressors of the galaxy, dude."

"I understand, my friend. Have faith." I turned back towards Boba and continued in Basic. "I'm sorry Boba, but this Wookiee is leaving with me."

"The hell he is!" He took a step closer. 

Lifting my palms in a demonstration of peace, I continued, "Come now, old friend. How about I have this Wookiee and I'll let you take the next one?"

Boba cocked his blaster. 

I considered telling Boba that I had avenged his father’s death by killing Mace Windu. Most likely that would have opened up a whole new can of mynocks. He would have either wanted proof, or been pissed that I didn’t let him kill Windu.

So I had tried to resolve this situation peacefully. Across the Cantina I caused one of the musicians to fall back into the others, creating an unworldly noise. When all the patrons turned their heads, I forced pushed Boba against the wall, knocking him out. 

I reached out and took the Wookiee's hand. "We best be going, my new friend."

"Totally, dude." The hairy beast stood up and towered over me with his 2 1/2 meter frame. He threw his arms around me and nearly crushed me when he squeezed. "Thanks man, you're the best."

While we made our way through the crowd of foul looking, and smelling, criminals, I turned and introduced myself to my tall friend. "I am Ben Kenobi, and I'm thrilled to meet you."

The Wookiee shook my hand with great vigor and enthusiasm. "That's awesome, man. My name is Chewbacca, but you can call me Chewie."


End file.
